Forgotten...not really

I need to forget..but I'm reminded of it so much this week......

2nd Post of the day...

Suddenly i feel emo.....listening to Malique feat. Najwa

"...yang nyatanya, telah banyak kita harungadakalanya rasa bebas, kadangkala terkurungkita pernah berpisah dan kembali,berpisah dan kembali"

".....satu fakta, dua penipuan
yang pertama kita ambil, dua buang
kenapa mengeluh? dengar cerita lagi, dah jenuh berkali-kali
komplikasi dalam komunikasi jadi konfrontasi
mulut orang perosak reputasi, pembunuh motivasi
mereka pakar fabrikasi, modifikasidi depan senyum, belakang dengkiyang cemburu mungkin teman kita sendiri
siapa tahu? peduli, kita dah semuanya bersama
dah senang bersama, dah susah pun bersama
ketawa bersama, menangis bersamaku bersumpah harap kita mati pun bersama ke akhirnya"

Fresh from Sentral

Another hectic week gone by.

Work has been crazy. I barely had enough rest.
Health is fine; except problems with the shoulder.
Friends: Met with Kavin, and some random people.
Family: Sis will give birth on Dec 1st. Pray for her and the baby please.
Others: Sweet R......

Brief update.....jam 12.21pm

Lots of stuff happened in between right now and the last time I’ve blogged.

See my updated Top Ten To-Do List.

Work is amazing. Family will always have the good/bad moments. Friends are awesome. Guys….which guy again? LOL

Me….I’m happy happy happy and it shows on my face finally!


Muahhh….

Brand New Me

Why the sudden reappearance of a new blog?

Well, the old blog has gone through alot...you name it..its probably there engraved in cyberspace.

The new blog is just a way to let my friends know that I'm doing fine, hanging in there ok.

With the new chapter of my life, I am back single again; a new job; better health (this is still a working progress), and new friends to enjoy with. I will not dwell on the past but rejoice in the future. I know my future is now brighter without those bad influences in my life. No more lying, no more cheating, no more tears...

A happier Shari..no more Sha ok?!? I can hear Mark laughing now.

I know who are my friends and who supports me. I know that the one person I trusted my future wuth was a fake and I'm better of without having a fraud in my life.

To sum things up, I will be blogging here.

Oh yes, in the words of Duffy....I'll never be your stepping stone!

Stepping Stone by Duffy
I rememeber way back way back when
I said i never wanna see your face again
Cause you were loving yes you were loving somebody else
And i knew oh yes i knew i couldnt control myself
And now they bring you back into my life again And so i put on a face just like your friends
But i think you know oh yes you know whats going on
Cause the feelings in me oh yes in me are burning strong
(Chorus)
But I will never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
Im standing upright on my own

You used call me up from time to time
And it would be so hard for me not to cross the line
The words of love lay on my lips just like a curse
And i knew oh yes i knew they'd only make it worse
And now you have the nerve to play along
Just like the mistro beats in your song
You get your kicks you get your kicks from playing me
And the less you give the more i want so foolishly
No i will never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
Im standing upright on my own

Never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
Im standing upright on my own

~~~~ But in my case, I don't to be yours anymore. Not now, never again!

I’m currently blogging from the comfort of my tiny cubicle; it’s not very tiny actually. Seems to be due to the printer and tons of paperwork all over the table. Work has been good; the usual ups and downs.

On the family front, Aira is having chickenpox, Aqif is having high fever, Garfield (our cat) is being so manja and Sameir..I’m not so sure about him. I’m pretty much trying to avoid my dad..why? Well, he had actually asked me to make up the guest list and so on for the wedding. But since my dear fiancée; my sayang is so BUSY nowadays…I don’t get a chance to speak to him about this matter. And when we do meet, we are busy doing something else…like watching movie till it slips off my mind. I’m actually getting cold feet or whatever you may call it…sayang, please re-assure me. I know its nothing but nothing is usually something for me. I hope everything will work out fine. I’m pretty confident about the whole thing; but just afraid there will be lots of bumps along the way. Right now, everything is at stalemate

On work front, just about the same as usual. Slightly busy at times.


10 ways to keep myself busy (while my fiancée is too busy)
1. Keep working..working…working
2. Sms, chat and call friends
3. Enjoy family time / nephews / niece / our baby Garfield
4. Shopping (unable to due lack of funds currently)
5. Pamper oneself (just cut my hair)
6. Plan for an event (birthday parties at work)
7. Sleep (when I get bored or depressed or ignored, I usually sleep to avoid confrontations)
8. Watch TV or movies (it helps when one’s fiancée works for a cinema)
9. Ignore certain people; I usually take my temper out on certain people so best to avoid me during these times.
10. Planning to take up a hobby; might start cross-stitching again.

Hehe, making this list kept me busy for about 10 minutes :)

I've been kind of busy with work. Details need to finalize and so forth.

Oh yes, my wedding day is probably in Dec 08.........

Got this from Nanie’s Friendster Bulletin Board

Are you in a complicated love situation?
++ NO

Do you hate more than 3 people?
++ Hmmm, at the moment…NO

The last thing you drank?
++ Iced Milo

How many pairs of shoes/sandals do you own?
++ Not many

Favorite genre of music?
++ anything; depending on my mood

Do you like beer?
++ No

Is anyone in love with you?
++ I hope so.

Pepsi or sprite?
++ Coke; K made me an addict to it.

Are you too forgiving?
++ I forgive some people but I don’t forget

Do you like flowers?
++ Not really, no longer special

What did you do last night?
++ hehehe, him. Kidding *winks*

Nick names?
++ sayang, ijan, izan, sha, shari..the list goes on

If you had a super power, what would it be?
++ The ability to know the truth from the lies

Are you thinking about somebody right now?
++ Yes. A few people actually

Ever called somebody Boo?
++ Yes. Back then

Are you happy with your life right now?
++ It could be better

Do you like your eyes?
++ Yes. I know my sayang will laugh at this question. *private joke*

Does anyone like you?
++ I hope so

Last thing you read?
++ Student’s profile report

Are you afraid of the dark?
++ Sometimes

Can you cook?
++ Yes, if I need to

Relationship or one night stands?
++ Right now, looking towards marriage. One that lasts, thank you.

When was the last time you said "i love you"?
++ Quite often, can’t remember.

Condolences to his family especially my childhood friend, Fauzi.

at the fish spa

fishy fishy

The Langkawi Trip Our airline ticket

Yes, we are crazy :)

In the plane to Langkawi

I'm afraid of heights. I had the worst chest pains ever. Almost blacked out

Where we have our lunch / dinner

The view from Langkawi's cable car

Finally I can blog whatever I want.

Its finally private!

This post will be my last public post. I will make this blog private by next week.

I will only let a few people read it from now on. Why the sudden change in policy? Well, it’s all because my blog has become a way for other people to tell stuff about me and my special one. You know who you are; I don’t appreciate you being two-faced in front of me.

For someone who projects herself as holier-than-others, you are a hypocrite.

My advice is stop spreading lies/rumors/idiotic stories about others when you yourself hate it. Just because things don’t go your way; doesn’t mean I’m the bad person. Everyone has a right to make choices; just your dumb luck that you made wrong ones.

For the other silent readers, thank you for your time.

For my friends, just e-mail me if you want to continue reading my PRIVATE thoughts. I’ll be more than happy to share it with you.

I started this blog as a way to release my stress. I’m better with written words than spoken ones. So, I will not stop blogging…no matter what.

Over the last weekend, 2 people did something very unbelievable.

A one day trip to Langkawi. All thanks to the convenience of Airasia.

The 2 people arrived in Langkawi around 1pm. Then they rented a car to drive around. First spot of choice to visit was Underwater World. It seems that place was just okay; nothing much to brag about especially the so-called 3D Experience. Next was the famous cable car ride. That got one of them freaked out because of the fear of heights.

The view from that place was breath-taking; so I was told anyway. One of them had a quick lunch up there while the other didn’t. Paid a price for that coz moments later, while doing some trekking up the stairs..almost fainted. After taking lots of pics; did some window-shopping. Drove back to Pantai Cenang for lunch or should I say tea time. Ate at the Laman Padi. Nice place but seems abandoned.

Of course, these 2 people are known to fight in the car over directions. This happened on this trip without any junk food involved this time around. It was a small matter; but it made Person 2 cried without Person 1’s knowledge about it. Next time around, Person 2 will always look at the map ALL THE TIME.

Did some shopping along the pantai; as these 2 people didn’t bring any clothes to change. It was due to the fact that they only decided to fly to Langkawi that same day while in the car; while trying to decide which place to hang out at. They called up the airline hotline but they couldn’t book in time. So one of them just decided to drive all the way to Sepang to check whether they can book it their. Leaving it all to fate; moments later..they were in Langkawi.

They got home around 10plus. Tired, sweaty, sticky but satisfied and amazed with they did.

♥ JULY = BIG WHORE

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hatesnot being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld orrestricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.independent. strong willed. a fighter.

Got it from Little Miss Kechik

The lack of updates is due to work, being sick and spending time with the family/fiancee. And SHOPPING SPREES! Thanks syg!

Another week goes by. Work has been hectic due to preparations for the big event next month. I kind of miss doing events like my previous job; the hassle of it all and when the event finally takes place smoothly; I can finally breathe and be proud that I contributed something to the big event.

As for the other side of my life, there have been ups and downs. Whose life isn’t that way right?!? It feels weird (in a good way) to be typing or doing work then suddenly I notice the ring on my finger. I smile every time that happens. Why? Coz his face will pop into my mind and the idea of being someone’s fiancée can be considered mind-bogging for me. Me who vowed never to meet anyone after my ex, me who swear to stay single for life and be an old lady with my friend *you know who you are ok!*…funny how certain events changes everything. With certain things that happened, when I’m alone at home (my parents’ place, of course)…I miss having him around; asking me to get him this and that.

Ahhhh….hectic day at work *pouts*

Finally everything has settled down. I've made my peace with that person. Without that particular interference, we managed to clear the air on everything. Its amazing how both of us were literally blinded by someone's actions.

I do still feel sad and anger at times when suddenly a memory reappears in my mind but the past can't be changed; I would just need to look forward to the future. I pray it would be a happy and joyful one. I pray that the person changes for the better; as I believe that person can do good. Just don't prove me wrong again.

On a happy note, Hana my former college mate is pregnant. Yippeee for her.

It is true when they say that when you happy, someone will try to upset you. I was upset but I take it as just another silly moment. I have so many things to be grateful and happy about; so I shouldn’t let anyone spoil my mood.

Yes, I maybe passionate about certain things…who wouldn’t be if they were to be in my position. I’m tired of this all. I just want to enjoy in this moment of happiness.

To the people who think that their actions and words can hurt me, yes you can annoy me but remember, for every evil action/words that comes from you….

Tuhan yang akan balas. Siapa yang aniaya siapa….fikirkan baik buruk diri sebelum buat orang.

I’m not perfect and I don’t want to be perfect….my flaws are what make me unique. Take it or leave it. I have my family, my fiancée and my life…..I don’t even have any bad intetntions towards you.

I’M HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My precious from him
From me, his ring
Azam's work
With his mum

The engagement day is finally over.

It’s unbelievable that the day ended just like a dream. It was probably because at the beginning of the month, I had to do so much of prep work and endless arguments with the family and K just to get the day as special as it was.

Saturday was spent rushing around to get things finalized. K also had an interview; which I patiently accompanied him. It took plenty of patience to wait for someone who’s attending an interview. Came home quite late; had to finish the décor for the hantaran. Tidied my room; while thinking how much we’ve been through to get to this day.

The next day….finally……our engagement day! Woke up at 8am, K woke up at 7am…..didn’t realize he sent me a “good morning” sms. Probably to wake me up. Made the last minute attempt to clean my room, and did some house work. I was still in my pajamas when my uncles, aunts and cousins showed up.

I was such a nervous wreck. Got all dolled-up by 11.30am. His family and himself came around 12.20pm. I was sweating bullets by then; excited coz its finally happening. He had to stay outside; he can only come in after the ring is placed on my hand and after all the elders finished their discussion about our wedding details.

His grandma (mum’s side) placed the ring on my “sweet” finger. I was holding back tears at that precise moment; suddenly flashes of all the problems and of course happy moments popped into my mind. After bersalam with the female side of his family, I had to return back to my room…my aunt said it’s not nice for me to wander around the house. Whatever!

I only got to see him through the window of the room. He finally came in to bersalam with my family and for him to eat. I was starving by then. Took some pics with him, his family and so on. Then he left with his family. Was sad to see him leave; because I was so excited that I wanted to just hug him since we didn’t get much to talk that day.

After that, I had my lunch. Took more pics. Cleaned the house. Entertained the guests.

One very special day for me and him. I will keep your promise and I will make sure I keep my end of the promise.

Thanks to my cousin, Lin who did my make-up. Thanks to Azam and friend who froze the special moments with their cameras. Thanks to Nik who did my attire for the day. Thank for Zura who came to comfort me. Thanks to my family for everything. Thanks to his family for accepting me. Thanks to him for sharing his life with me.

Right now, at a cybercafe with him. He's playing some game while I'm busy blogging and site-hopping.

A few more days to go before the big day. Scared, anxious, confused, excited, every single emotion roll into one. Lately, I've been getting more and more "secrets" out...scary how you think you know someone but the way that person acts is totally different when you are not around.

I've been advised not to go ahead with it by my friends and by his girl"friends". My mum knows the story here and there. K was the one who told her; however he managed to leave all the spicy details out. Just to need to start anew......

No worries. Everything is fine with him and me. No major illness except the occasional coughing and migraine.

11 days more to go! Before I’m officially tied to him.

I’m happy and sad at the same time. Happy because the engagement preparations are going on well, so far. Only left his baju melayu to buy right now.

Last Friday was our anniversary. I was kind of sad since we couldn’t see each other that day due to work commitments. But he surprised me by taking me off work for lunch. Then he did his usual surprise by sending flowers to my office. Thanks so much sayang! I appreciate everything you do.

Flowers with a card ~~ Thanx sayang. Muahh

The weekend was spent mostly with him anyway. Had half-day work on Saturday; then went to his place and then to The Curve. Bought some stuff at the street market; a ring for him and bracelet n 2 shirts for me. While on Sunday, it was a day out with mum and aunt. Bought more decorations for the hantarans. I’ll be doing my own décor; wish me luck people! After that, a movie and dinner with K. At dinner, he started asking some annoying questions like “what if I was sick or in a come, would you wait”. He was actually trying to get me to cry. Which I didn’t but I almost did.

Next thing you know, he’s warded at HUKM.

The sad thing is my K is sick. And we have no idea what it is yet. Right now, he’s getting all the necessary check-ups to determine what it is. I couldn’t be with him today coz I took a day off work yesterday so today I have to come in for work. Luckily no pending projects. Spent the whole day yesterday with him at his place; parents were around of course. Slept for an hour or so there coz I didn’t get much rest after hearing that he was warded on Sunday (night). Had lunch, watched TV and went home.

Please pray that everything is fine with him.

The weekend was spent with good company. Lunch with the boss and colleagues at Zuup (One Utama). It was a private function; a farewell lunch for the boss. Sad to see her go but it’s for the best. Looking forward to meet the new boss soon.

Sometime around evening, something happened. I got attacked by some weirdo. I’m fine except for some cuts on my ankle. Hopefully that idiot is still nursing his “balls” after the kick I gave him.

Sunday was spent with K. I gave him the scrapbook I’ve made. Hopefully you suka ya, sayang. I made it so that whenever you miss me, you can see it and remember all the moments we shared.
Went over to his place coz it’s been awhile since I was there to visit his parents. But by the time I managed to reach there, the folks were out. Only he and his aunt were around. Had breakfast, ironed his shirt, and watched TV while he took his shower.

K trying to show off his skills with the camera
*also to annoy me*

Reached Jalan TAR before the road closure. Lucky us. Managed to get the alas dulang. Very lucky to have found the alas (cloth) that I was looking for. Sayang was a big help in helping me decide. Got out from Jalan TAR just in time; police were everywhere due to the Le’Tour Langkawi Race. It was either Midvalley or One Utama after that. After a few “hmmm” and “uhhhh”, decided to head to Midvalley…more precise was the Gardens.

We were actually on a mission of getting his shirt *one of my hantaran to him* He wanted something from GAP. So GAP it was. Happy that we managed to buy the shirt during the sale. K looks yummy in it. He kept wanting to bring the shirt home; no way ok! Its mine till 16 March 2008. After tired of shopping, we had our usual activity…MAKAN TIME!

We had teppanyaki. His favorite as of late. We both the chicken and additional beef. 2 chicken and 1 beef set..yummy yumyum. We managed to eat all of it. After that, we had problem walking straight. The weird thing was the teppanyaki “chef” was singing and talking to himself while cooking and while busy cleaning up his station. K and I were freaked out over it.

At the car park, he took the time to look through the scrapbook I’ve made. Had some laughs and smiles over some of the photos and words I wrote in it. Good times!

The damage made; that's the outcome!

Drove back to his place to get my car. Decided to lepak at his place for some tea/pau. His folks were at home; with the aunt and his nenek. Shown them the stuff we bought. Everyone including my family *of course* approves of the alas dulang. Happy me!

The muffins are booked, the chocolates are booked and being paid for by my aunt. The only things left to buy are his sejadah, and baju melayu.

Another weekend gone. It was tiring, fun and full of happy moments.

Watched the movie “Cuci” with K. The movie not-so-bad; I think the seats were packed with movie-goers in the cinema hall we were in. Saw the preview for the horror flick, “Congkak”. I didn’t actually saw anything from the preview; as I had my eyes closed. K is determined to watch that movie with me. Right sayang, I will close my eyes most of the time during the show. Money well-spent.

Bought a top for him. We had our usual donuts at Big Apple; yummy. Wanted to get his shirt for the hantaran but we were too lazy. The drive back to my house was the best. We spent the almost-one-hour drive back home; reminiscing about how we met, the stuff we did, the problems we’ve been through. It was nice and sweet; in the coming weeks will be our first anniversary so we decided to be emo yesterday. I didn’t mind though; as it was nice to see him that way. I was kind of sad when he left; but happy that we were back to the comfort zone; as before.

As the up-coming CNY holidays, we were thinking of making a trip up to Bukit Fraser *AGAIN* Looking forward to it; since every time we go somewhere….there’s always something memorable that will happen.

honestly?

*Honestly, where u at? At work; on my lunch break.

* Honestly, what's on your mind? I’m so tired!

* Honestly, who are you chatting online with?: Aizura

* Honestly, what is it that you REALLY should be doing right now? Nothing much; just need to design a banner

* Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today? YES!

* Honestly, are you a good friend? I try to be

* Honestly, do you really think going to school is all that important? Yes but you learn more once you’re out of it.

* Honestly, what are your dreams about mostly? Being happy. With him & family.

* Are you HONESTLY single? No, I’m signed, almost sealed..and will be delivered

* Honestly, what are you so happy about right now? That I’m getting engaged soon and my probation period at work is ending!

* Honestly, what are you so sad about right now? Thinking of the past

* Honestly, how old are you now? 24 y/o soon

* Honestly, who are you missing? My sayang and my little ones at home *niece/nephews*

* Honestly, have you ever stole something? Don’t think so

* Honestly, what song are you listening to right now? Some English song

* Honestly, who do you want to meet at this very moment? My sayang

* Honestly, where do you like to be kissed? My sayang knows.

* Honestly, do you hate someone right now? Some girl. Sayang knows who.

* Honestly, who do you wanna hug right now? My sayang and the little ones

* Honestly, are you bored? Kind of

* Honestly, who do you wanna slap right now? That same girl.

TODAY
How stupid and immature can that girl be? I seriously don’t care what you say and do with your life. For me, you are just one HUGE MISTAKE that happened in his life. Get over it, girl! Why hang on to something that is just upsetting you! You make it sound like you have everything intact now like a new guy or whatever; but clearly by the way you write to me, you are just trying to get revenge.

Please, only a few people can hurt me. And you are definitely not one of them. So, save your energy that you use to type stupid messages to me; put it to better use. Insulting how I look doesn’t help while you looked like a haggard old lady. Enough said.

YESTERDAY
K had lunch at my house. I cooked two dishes; just for him. Then we headed to Shah Alam; with his brand new car. Yippee, my sayang can now drive me around. Met up with the nice lady who will be doing our hantarans. The price that she’s charging is quite reasonable. So, leaving everything up to her creativity.

I’m at work; trying my best to stay awake. No more late nights for me. I just can’t stop reading the book.

While trying to keep myself awake, I just blog-hop. Going from one’s blog to another to another……Well, you get my point. It’s good to know that most of the problems they’re going through in life are similar to mine. It makes me feel better because I know that I’m not the only one going through some issues in life. Things are getting better; with the family, him and work.

I’m still having my guard up; in case I get hurt again. The trust is there; little by little it’s being re-enforced. I can see that everyone especially him is trying to make an effort to make it better; so I’m making an effort as well.

How old are you?
I’m 24 this year

Does love mean never having to say you're sorry?
No, people make mistakes.

Is it better to have loved and lost. Than never to have loved at all?
Yes. We need someone eventually

Have you ever fallen in love at first sight?
Attraction; the spark. I usually make judgements on people when I first meet them. It changes after I get to know them better.

Can you tell the difference between infatuation and love?
Depends, I usually know when I have someone special.

Does physical appearance matter when you're in love?
No, but I guess everyone would pick the one who looks the best out of the crowd.

Do you believe opposites attract?
Yes.

Do you have to "work" to stay in love?
Yes, it takes both sides to make it work

If you're in love is it possible to still be attracted to someone else?
In my case, NO. A cute guy is a guy cute..nothing else. Only one guy for me.

Are you currently in love?
Yes

How do you know that you are in love with someone?
When I can stand his “everything”..even though I bitched about it..I’ll still stand by him

Is it possible to "cheat" and still be in love with the person you cheated on?
This question is similar to what I’ve been though. No, I wasn’t the one who cheated.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife ever cheated on you, would you leave him/her?
I thought I would but I looked pass that BIG MISTAKE and trying to move on.

Explain your reason for the above answer
We all have our moments of doing stupid. It depends how long one is being stupid though.

Barely had a good night’s rest.

Yesterday was a public holiday. yippee.
While K was busy doing his own thing, I was busy shopping with the family at the Curve. Got my kebaya top from Uluwatu. Thanks mum/dad! Headed to Biwani’s where I got the kain for my sarung and my tudung.

The tudung is to be worn on the engagement day. No, I have yet to change myself. Not ready yet. Hopefully K approves of the stuff I got for myself. He is fussier than me. I have so many things to buy….luckily the folks are sponsoring most of it. Most of the items are for my hantaran (gifts) to him.

Thinking of getting a shirt.

My weekend was interesting. Spent the Saturday with my K and Sunday was “Sha-is-a-housewife” day.

Saturday
Woke up very early in the morning. Couldn’t sleep well due to the shoulder pain. Yes, I know I should get the shoulder checked but I hate doctors! Had my typical morning beverage of Nescafe. Had a “talk” with the parents.

Left home around 10.30am, headed to Jaya Jusco to get donuts for sayang’s family. Headed to Serendah. I was quite excited to see him and the folks because;

1) I miss him so much
2) I wanted to see my kain hantaran *his gifts to me on the engagement day* which was purchased by his mum/grandma at Sarawak
3) I just wanted to see my sayang

Had lunch at his place. Then off to Cineleisure for a movie. Also to find a top for this kain (sarung / sarong) that his mum bought for me. We decided to use that sarong for me to wear on the engagement day. So, we scoped out Uluwatu. Found a really nice kebaya to match it with.

K and I spent our day gawking at Nike shoes. Hehe, since being with me…he developed a very strong liking to the colour brown. Which I got from Evonne back then. Overall, I had a fantastic day with him.

Sunday
Spent the day vacumning, ironing, washing, dusting, folding and you-name-it,i-did-it! See dear, I’m trying to be a good future wife.

Monday (Today)
Ankle/Leg hurts. Period is here. I feel like throwing up *thank god for period; confirmed I won't develop any bumps in a period of 9 months*

I don’t plan to blog much really.

Just to let my friends know that I’m fine. I’m just stressed over certain matters at home and personal issues. This whole week (month, really) has been one crazy roller coaster ride for me. I hope by end of this month, everything will be fine as usual.

There are just moments when I just need to cry. And there are moments when I just need time to cool down. Thank you for your concern..you know who you are. A true friend of mine.

To my special person, I wish we could be like before. When we first met. I know the stress of everything is getting to us - especially me. But as you know; I'm one degil (stubborn) girl so nothing/NO ONE can get in the way alright, sayang!

Its true what they say; the closer the date gets..the more f@ck-up things get. Its probably just God’s way to test how strong both of parties are. I seriously hate how things are turning out.

What supposed to be a stress-free day turned out to be one of those “I rather sulk at home” day. I knew something was wrong. I can hear it from your voice and the way you act whenever I asked. No matter how much you hide, somehow someone will know…in this case, it was me. How stupid can I be right? Or were you angry because I found out. It’s not over until that person/her friends/her whatever is out from your life.

*sigh*

I have no respect for that person.

I’m feeling so sick today. I was actually trembling *I even switched off the air-conditioning in the car* on my way to work today. I managed to arrive safely to work. It’s probably because I’m tired due to working over the weekend. I need some rest badly!

K came over for dinner yesterday. He stayed longer than usual. Surfed the net at my house because his current job doesn’t allow him to browse websites. It was nice to have him around at the house; and it’s been awhile I felt close to him. Especially lately due to some insecurities. The funny thing was I found out he started smoking again yesterday because I smelt ciggies on his hands. No point in denying ok! He can no longer proudly say that he has quit smoking. Yesterday was definitely “I’m-feeling-good-day”

Today is one of the days when I feel kind of down. Probably coz I’m sick and worried about some stuff. Well, it’s probably just another day……………

I have lots of photos to upload but the computer at work doesn’t allow any outside connection by unknown devices. Can’t even install any software *sigh*

Another day at the office. Nothing much really except I need to be in KLCC around 2pm. Need to set up the booth for tomorrow’s education fair. Yes, it’s that time of the year when colleges, schools and universities are rushing to get students into their respective establishment.

Yesterday’s updates – nothing except we fought, met with K, went for lunch and oh yeah, wasted almost more than an hour listening to this guy talked about his business. Interesting huh? I was pretty much sulking for the whole entire day. Went home to an empty house; watched TV, played the game and ate caramel pudding.

Dinner with friends at Hartamas. Most of them were there with their significant other. So, I managed to secure a seat (or rather a friend who was alone due to his girl going MIA) at the singles table. Slept around 2am. Hence, me now very sleepy.

I’m having such a bad day at work today and it’s not because of work! I’m having stomach cramps; my period is only next week *I think*

My back is also killing me; feel like crying due to the pain.

[Today’s actual entry]
The above was supposed to be yesterday’s entry. Yesterday, after work..met up with K. In separate cars, both of us drove to my home. Had him over for dinner. It’s been awhile since he’s been at my place. I kind of took serious offence when I found out about him spending more time with that _________’s family rather than mine. It should be *by now* a closed issue but sometimes, it’ll just pop in my mind. Certain issues will just stick in my head and never go away.

Enough of that nonsense. Work today is hectic. Currently on a break. No calls, no emails and no one to bug me. The only thing I need right now is caffeine. I have a sudden craving for it. Damn you, PMS! Craving also for Dominos...yumyum

Oh yeah, tomorrow is a holiday. Yippee….alas, dad has commissioned me to help him rearrange the furniture around the house. Apparently the rearranging of furniture is due to my awaiting engagement day. EKKKKKKKKKKK…can’t wait!

*does her silly dance*

Hehe, hyper me. To a certain tiger (u-know-who), luv you!

Taken from Vee’s blog.

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
- Single yet unavailable. Not even looking at anyone else.

2) Are you happy with that?
- I better be!

3) Would you still kiss your ex?
- NO…K will probably kill me and the ex

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
- yes, twice. Once last year

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
- no, I’ve been cheated on and been the one doing the cheating. No good comes from it.

7) Have you ever talked about marriage with another person?
- yup; hopefully by sept 2008 as we’ve (our parents) planned

8) Do you want kids?
- yes i do. According to the other half, by end of this year. NO WAY!

9)How Many?
- Always wanted 4, doesn’t matter boy or girl.

10) Would you consider adoption?
- yes, if we can’t have our own

11) If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
- Yes, but keep in mind..my K would probably hate that person.

12) Do you want someone you can't have?
- No. I have my someone already.

13) Have you fallen in love?
- Yes, this time its for real.

14) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries...?
- Yes. But everyday should be celebrated

15) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
- I think I have changed in some ways

16) Is it a good day?
- Not really

17) Have you ever broken a heart before?
- I don’t know. Maybe

18) Does your ex still have feelings for you?
- You don’t even want to know.

20) Do you believe in long distance relationship?
- Is Rawang and Pulau Indah considered long distance????

21) Do you think some of your friends will repost this?
- Unlike me, my friends are busy.

Happy 2008!

I’ve been stressing about all of things lately. No one seems to bother about my impending engagement day. Only my darling brother keeps asking *over and over AGAIN*

Brother : Bila nak kau nak tunang uh? (Translation : When you getting engaged?)

Me : 16 March nanti (no need translation – self-explanatory)

Brother : Kahwin bila? (The wedding day?)

Me : Bila K ada cukup duit! (When K saved up enough money)

And what do you know, my brother ask me the same questions AGAIN this morning and last night!

STRESS! With money woes, planning the day and so much more.

On a lighter note, I’m addicted to playing Pokemon on nephew’s gameboy. Yes K, I know how old I am. Being the cheeky aunt that I am, I named the characters with my nephews/niece’s name.

Today is a busy day at the office for me. 2008’s school term is opened. So tired right now.